Something Existing

People said the world is actually small. This saying can suggest "The Internet brings everybody together" and also "accidentally bump into someone". For my situation, it's the second meaning, and furthermore, it is totally a bomb!! Hell....

I was a very lucky person who studied in popular class since I was in high school. How popular? Lets say we were just well-known by the entire school. In high school, we were well-known because we were totally NOT like a class. I meant normally, if you are in the same class, you are more like a team which is considered as a united group. Contrary, we were well-known because we were not united (hahaha). And in my college, we were well-known because we studied in International college, we have foreign students in class, so sometimes some boring/annoying girls would stand outside of our window to check on foreign students, as if we are animals in the zoo.

Before I graduated, my goal is to get a good job and earn money for life. And after months of working, I started to realize that nothing is easy, and working hard doesn't mean anything. Sometimes, I found myself feel bored when I have known a lot of things about my job, and then I need to have something new to interest me to keep on going. If I don't find any, I will easily feel it's time to leave.

And then after around 2~3 years working, I suddenly feel there is no ambition for me to keep on working. It's like earning money cannot be the reason to motivate me any more. There is nothing in front of me to chase any more, and I am just lost in the middle of the way!

Long time ago, there is a statistics shows that one out of four couples has got divorced in Taiwan. More and more people choose not to get married, and more and more people choose not to have their own children. Gradually, the tradition we so called has been changed; to get married or to have kid is no longer a necessary stage in our life. People have studies about how this happen, and they discover some reasons, such as modern society makes people prefer quality life, women want more to live their own life more independently, and now, we have this new excuss that the economic is bad, cannot afford to have kid or get married; or, they don't believe in marriage or they don't want to get divorced.

People I know who got divorced for reasons that I believe non of us wants it to happen. My oldest cousin got divorced after 13 years marriage, because her husband cheated on her with their next-door neighbor. When they agreed to sing the divorce paper, all of our family were there with her, to defense and protect her. The process of divorcing didn't look good at all, but at least, we made to the final process and helped my cousin to get through it in a little bit better way.

The old man under the moon is an old man appearing in an old Chinese story, and is a synonym for the god of marriage or a matchmaker.

So, that's the temple I planned to go today, but I took off to another temple instead because the temple I planned to go intend to charge people some money which both of me and my friend couldn't afford at this moment. Well, that's because we all fired our boss at the same week. ha~

I have a date tomorrow with a girl friend who used to work with me. She is over 30 years old without a boyfriend, so I thought why not to invite her.

Last week, I was chatting with my cousin who ran his ass back to Taiwan from China like I did three months ago. But it only took him 10 days to leave everything behind, me....I took almost 2 months to get the hell away from that hell. Anyways, he's back to Taiwan for over 5 months, and didn't really intend to find a job so far. I was chatting with him to see how's everything going, and he knows very well how much I want to get my ass out of my mom's control, too. Thus, we were making joke like maybe he could take me with him to go traveling, and then we could split when we arrive some other country. Therefore, he could help me to get the hell away and find my Mr. right there. However, he also mentioned something that maybe I should give it a try!

The weather is extremely weird these days because all the sudden, it became cold with pouring rain, and thunders. Maybe it's the sign of spring's coming, but does wind blow like that without typhoon??

There was one year, we had a big ass typhoon which is so big that caused a lot of demage in Taipei. That time, many people got cold because the temperature went down so quick, and I am the type of person who got cold whenever others' do (because of my nose allergy). Hence, I got cold and I felt like it's better that I go to clinic first, in case the government announced that everybody doesn't have to go to work. Everything was okay when I go to the clinic, it just has some wind and little rain. But hell, the typhoon started to turn stronge on my way back home. The wind went so crazy (heard that it's about 7 degrees wind that typhoon brought), and the rain was almost like needle when it hit on my body. It was so hard to walk on the street and everything looked like being tearing. Me, my mom, and my nephew were all screaming because we couldn't against the wind by walking, and we were kinda afraid that something might fly toward us. That's the very first time, I felt my home is so freaking far away even it's just around the corner and we just couldn't reach there because of the strong wind. Thus, we gave up our umbrellas, I held my nephew tight, and waited for a better timing to run all the way into the alley. It was so crazy and I gotta hold my nephew so tight so that he wouldn't fly away or get hurt. Hell, this kid was laughing all the way because he thought it's much better than just swimming. That was the most crazy thing I did to walk outside when it's typhoon.

5 dishes and one soup, it's pretty awesome for lunch at home. My mom is a very good housewife who always prepare many dishes for family. No matter how many people will attend the meal, she always prepare at least 3 dishes plus one soup. Sometimes, it's even not strange to see two soups tho.

I am not in a hurry, I am being lazy, I keep everything slower than before, I enjoy everyday, and put a little effort to make it better. Nothing pushes me going forward, and it seems that I wonder around here without moving any where. Maybe I am waiting for a sign or a miracle to tell me what I shall do next. I thought a lot of possibilities, but those are all dream, and all I could do here is wait.

Since last week I quited my job in a very pretty way, I came back to the club of job hunting. Maybe I fought too much, struggled for too long, and got sick from those rediculous requests, and murmur for the past couple months, I don't need any emergency, and I mean to keep everything in a very slow way. Yeah, you can say that I am truely getting lazy. My pace is so slow that my mom has to slow down when she walks with me. It seems that my last job sucked all of my energy, and I am still in the recovering stage!

Last night, I woke up at 2:44AM, and I was surprising having smile on my face, because I heard the sound of pouring rain.

That moment, I raised my head and wore this special smile on my face, and then I realized that it's all because I heard this sound, the sound of pouring rain. The second moment, I was thinking of calling one person, but no, it's 2:44AM here and it should be a stupid thing to make that phone call just to say that "I was woken up by the sound of pouring rain and it reminds me about you, so I had this smiling face on my face". Well, that's stupid!!

Whenever I announced to my mom that I fall in love with somebody, my mom always went to fortune tellers if she though that this guy would have high possibility to take me away. In fact, I think she did so every time.

It is strange that a lot of Asians like to do so whenever they have doubt about their own action. Like before I had my college entry exam, my mom made me to the temple to pray and ask God would I get the college I wanted. Luckly, I got the note number ONE. Don't quite sure what it says now but it was a good luck note, and it turned out that I did go to the college I want and even enter the "international college". Thus, I guess there is really something that we could ask God about sometimes. Another example is that my older cousine who had this boyfriend younger than her for 4 years, they got fight a lot with lots of problems, but because they loved each other so much, they were together for 4 years with a lot of tears, fights, and whatever were not that romantic things going on. Her mom, my aunt, was so worried, so some of her friend introduced her to see a fortune teller. That fortune teller said, "well, this guy is not the guy for your daughter, they will break up this year. In her age 31, a guy will come into her life, a very good one for your daughter. But if she didn't hold this chance tight, she has to wait till 40 years old." Bullshit....that what almost everybody thought because 4 years isn't a short time, how come people can break up like that!! Well, sometimes, really, you just cannot say thing like this because there is always possibility! Thus, they broke up in the year the fortune teller said, and she did meet a guy in her age 31, so I supposed she did take more effort not to chicken out to marry this guy right now. Seriousely, sometime it just forces you to believe it!

There is a scary story about gastric cancer happen on a 20 years old man, due to great stress and bad eating behavior.

Since I start to work in this company, I have constant stomachache almost every day. I used to have stomachache problem when I was young and most of time, it caused by stress. It did make me feel very uncomfortable whenever it happens, and also it affects my eating (although it helps me eat less, still not a good way to be on diet). It is really not good tho!

J is a the only friend I have in China. His role in my life is a little bit similar to my another friend in Hong Kong. We don't hang out a lot, but somehow, we know each other a little more than other friends we have. I always want to thank him for being my friend when I was in China working in hell, even though for him, it's not really a big deal, because it's who he is, helping others as much as he could.

Because of work, we don't chat much online now. He is a English teacher in a cram school in China, so whenever I have time to get online, he mostly teaches in classes. Finally, today we had chance to meet online. We didn't really talk much, but ask each other how's going. He is doing find and getting ready to wonder around for a while in China. I am doing okay, except having a cheap ass boss. He asked me dozen times that if I would like to wonder around with him in China, and it will be very cool. Well, it's not possible so he called me "you are such a patriotic bugger". And before he left to teach in class, he told me "I really am missing you so much".

There are many many people keeping their diary by drawing on their blogs in Taiwan right now. And by looking at their blog, I found their lives are so juicy (is that a right expression?), because the way they observe their world is so interesting, and many times, I always wonder how come their lives are filled with things that make them think, even dumb things happened on them, so why my life seems to be so boring, and empty.

A lot of time, I just simply forgot what I did yesterday, or last weekend, and whenever people asked me "was there anything fun you did last weekend?" My answer is always "no, I slept as much as I could." There's no exception that people will then ask "don't you think it's boring?" or "why didn't you do something else?" Well, my reply will still be the same, "I didn't have enough sleep on week days, so I gotta make it up whenever I have chance. Besides, I LOVE to sleep!"

The job I have right now makes me have a strange feeling today!

During 2008, they have around 150 customers and some of them are new customers. I spent about 6 days to establish a customer list, re-arrange their files, send the surveillance about our peformance, and pack the notebook to send to every customer. I work over hours every single day, from 8:30am till 7 something in the evening. And we only have one hour break in the noon, but usually we only take about 30 min break.

In Taiwan, many people consider people who born during 1980~1990 are all straberry. Why straberry? Because straberry has beautiful outlook, but with very soft mind which means they cannot take any stress.

Straberries go to work late, leave the work early, take days off for no or stupid reason, don't work over hour, cannot take any stress, are usually irresposible, and are selfish without manner.

There was an article in our school textbook talking about the back sight of a father. It was an article about the author was heading to work out of his home town, and his father ran to the train station to bring him some fruit. He was touched by looking at his father's back side while his father walked back home. Somehow, "back sight" is in my mind all the time.

I fall in love with someone's "back sight" and it's so hard to forget. As I remember, I was so happy to follow this "back sight" by walking around the city, even it was tiring. And I am very happy now that I did capture this "back sight" I love, so that I can put it as a wallpaper of my laptop.

It's very cold in Taiwan these days, and the temperature should be the lowest than the past 10 years. The coldness is very different from America, even the temperature there can reach below zero. Somehow, you feel more freeze in Taiwan, probably because Taiwan is surrendered by sea.

There were about dozen of people freeze to death in Taiwan for the past few days, and tons of people are suffering from flu, and it's not easy to recover. In my family, everybody is having running nose and throatache. We all went to clinic to get some medicine every three or four days. It seems that the flu is never going away. And the flu spreads also very fast, when there is a case happening in the family, soon the rest will be infected.

Since I started to work, time runs very very fast because I work overload from 8:30am till 7:00pm with less than one hour lunch break. And I don't really have time to stop for a while.

As usual, I got lots of works laying there waiting for me to clean up today. And I found myself pretty good at make thing in organization (ha). But today became a very different day since 1pm, because I received a surprise!

The only thing my professor asked me before I left to study in USA is to learn American culture, which mostly is to speak up. He was right about me because I am like my father who rarely speak up, prefer to listen first, but one thing very important is that, whenever he speaks something, that means he is very serious about it. Thus, we never tried to mess up with our dad when he starts to speak (well, I am not that serious as my dad, at least I speak to my close friend a lot).

I remember after I got back Taiwan from USA, I went to school for arranging my graduation. My professor talked to me for a while and his first comment for me is "wow, look, you speak more now". Well, holy shit, he was right. Before, I mostly comment yes or no or short sentence for others' question, but at that moment, I spoke about five sentences to answer my professor's one question. Hahaha, I guessed I really influenced by American culture somehow.

I'm just told by my sister-in-law that I have to work on Saturday whole day for the coming two weeks because the government adjusted it for arranging better holidays. What the....that's no fun at all, but I convince myself that I will only work for another two weeks and then I will have my Chinese New Year holidays! Yup, I gotta be more positive!!

Happy Chinese New Year!