There are many many people keeping their diary by drawing on their blogs in Taiwan right now. And by looking at their blog, I found their lives are so juicy (is that a right expression?), because the way they observe their world is so interesting, and many times, I always wonder how come their lives are filled with things that make them think, even dumb things happened on them, so why my life seems to be so boring, and empty.
A lot of time, I just simply forgot what I did yesterday, or last weekend, and whenever people asked me "was there anything fun you did last weekend?" My answer is always "no, I slept as much as I could." There's no exception that people will then ask "don't you think it's boring?" or "why didn't you do something else?" Well, my reply will still be the same, "I didn't have enough sleep on week days, so I gotta make it up whenever I have chance. Besides, I LOVE to sleep!"
However, to be honest, sometimes I really thought that I need to do something else to change my life a little bit; not because "I finally got it that I shouldn't live like this"; it's more like "I should do something a bit different, so that it helps me to sleep more (haha, joking la)......I should rock my life sometimes in case nothing changes." Therefore, I did think of doing something that I wanted to do long time ago.
Last time, I tried to do something new except sleeping on my weekend. I thought that maybe I should take a dancing class to make myself happier. Hey~dude, yes, I do dance! How? Lets say my mom sent me to take dancing class when I was young, and I did enjoy that (not bad tho). Anyways, I did some research online to see if I can find any dance course somewhere near my work or apartment. Wow, what the fuck! It's actually costy, and seriously, I feel a bit shy to take classes with people I don't know, and what worst that I will have chance to shake my butt in front of those people without getting dizzy from taking some shots! Humm, and I really don't know if I will love their style in dancing tho. Therefore, once again, I forgot to realize this dream after giving too much thoughts!
Another example, I did love to learn French so I took a big step by finding myself a French tutor. I did take one period of class, but unfortunately, my new job took a lot of time from me and I got pissed a lot, so I couldn't find time to study or review those lessons, and then I told that tutor I am so sorry! However, today, I finally found myself a very good website today to learn by myself, and also kinda demage my throat coz of their pronunciation (hrrrrr....hrrrrr..hrr..........tabarnack!) Anyways, I hope I can study by myself at least for couple weeks tho....even though I don't think it's not gonna happen since I will go back to work next Monday!
The last example....I love to draw when I was kid and somehow, we do have some talent in our family. But for me, I just do it casually and didn't practice at all. I bought a writing board the other day coz I thought maybe I could kill my time by drawing. It was fine when I first time to use it, and then I tried to copy some paintings from those blogs. Evey time I finished one painting, I always feel that I am good, but after looking at it for few times, I just think my paint is dull, and stupid, so it's kinda turning me off. Well, I am sure that it needs to take a lot of time to practice, but I guess I am just not that creative or having enough patience. Well, I didn't quit yet, it's just I draw on paper more!
The point is that I feel a lot of time that I am NOT a creative person, because somehow, I don't pay too much attention on my own life. Most of the time, I just live it by going to work, coming back home, eating whatever my mom cooks, watching movies, and getting more sleep! Thus, everything became not special, because they are in the way they are supposed to be. I am sort of taking them for granted!
Last night, I helped my mom cooking lunch and dinner for my parents' friends which is one thing I don't really enjoy because my hairs and clothes smell a bit after done cooking. However, I was a bit enjoying it because it's different from what I did most of the time when I am at home. The result did bring me a kinda accomplishment by having 6 different delicious dishes, and I also learned how to smoke the chicken! I actually felt good by learning something new tho!
I meant I realized that it's not really I am NOT creative, it's just I really take everything for granted and being too lazy to feel my life. Before I started to post my stuffs in this blog, I really did not have any idea about what I was getting through everyday. Each day was just another day and nothing was really special, but after I started to write, I found that there are plenty of things that we could think about in our lives. So many things are going on and on and on every single day, it's just we did not really pay too much attention on it, because we got used to it. Therefore, now, I feel more like living my days in a very different way because it seems that I made each day count. And whenever I wrote one story happened in my life down, that thing became something meaningful which allows me to have the fulfillment. And somehow I feel I know things better because I have to take time to think before I write, and it does help me to think thing through without bugging me too much.
So, maybe I am lazy to take dancing class (or even go clubbing), I am not that talent to draw cute stuffs, I am not patient enough to study French every week, but I keep my brain running by typing out my thoughts; not in a very creative way, but I did try to make each day count!
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