Something Existing

Since when people start to ask me "when are you going to school?"
....when I was 5 years old, and I said, "yeah, it's so cool!"

Frankly, I didn't finish this book yet. I only read half of it, total is about 420 pages. I don't quit remember why I purchased  this book in the beginning, but I do remember that I read its instruction for many time without really realizing what it's talking about, and I just bought it.

When I started to read, I thought it's mostly about buildings, arts, and stuffs that I don't really understand. But who cares, it's a novel, so it's supposed to be understandable. Besides, I thought it's about an old man built a house for his lovely wife.....however, I was totally wrong!

Strangely, I spent some time seeing wedding dress on TV show, and somehow, I did try to figure out what kinda I wanna wear. To see the special wedding photo albums from some couples I have known, I learned it seems to be something every couple shall do in Taiwan's culture. And I know how much effort you need to put when you take those photos, because my two older brothers all got married, and it all took them days to find a proper wedding shop, go shoot the photos, select photos, blah blah blah...a lot of works to do. And sure, they all cost not small money.

Except photos, there are a lot of customs needed to be followed. And every area, or even every family does have some different customs to believe in. Normally, groom needs to prepare an amount of money for bride's family, so that they could purchase some "cookies/cakes" to send to their relatives for announcing that their daughter is getting married. And a lot, a lot, a lot of details need to be done.....

(from: http://www.pestaola.gr/images/the_break_up_movie.jpg)

Many of my friends agree that I am good at drinking, but I don't think so, I just have dare to drink. Maybe I do not get drunk easily (like getting drunk after a shot), but I do know exactly when to stop drinking.

If you want to do business in China, you must learn to drink. People there oftenly drink with bowl, not glasses, especially if you are drinking with people who work in the factory, or live in the countryside. I was lucky in those 9 months working in China, because I didn't have chance to drink with people work in the factory, or those who only drink with bowls. However, I had this boss who loves to drink a lot, and when he drinks too much, he would definately want to dance. Thus, from time to time, I would be called to bars at 10pm, even I have to work at 9am next morning. And you can imagine before we arrive bar, my boss has drank some already, and he just wanted to go there enjoy the music and get the alcohol out of his body. However, my boss is still a good drinker. At least, you never see him act stupid by touching girls or hanging there or forcing people to drink with him. He just needs to dance, a kinda dance you only could see in Disco 20 years ago in Taichung.

I saw an old couple while I was waiting the bus in the bus station today. What attract me is that they are foreigner, and they are with an around 4 years old kid. This old couple is very old, well I don't know how old, but their hairs are all white, and skin is filled with wrinkles, but they don't walk very slow.

I was curious why this couple would show up on the Taipei streat, so I supposed that that kid's father should be this couple's son, and they came to visit them. And yes, I should be right by looking at that kid. I even missed my bus because I couldn't help myself to look at them.

I have been thinking a lot lately about my condussion, especially after I read an article. It's about a lady who didn't carry out any of her dreams and then realized that maybe it's a good thing not to make those dreams come ture, after she met her dying friend who owns everything she dreamed of.

It reminds me about a friend of my mom told me once that most of rich families don't have happy life. Look at a friend of my parents who is so rich, but he messed up by falling in love with another woman, and non of his children want to forgive him. Another one who is very rich too but he got fight with his wife a lot, his children are so afraid of their mother because she has kinda mentel illness.

Recently, I found an interesting TV problem on Discovery. The show is about two guys, Mark Anstice and Olly Steeds, live with a tribe, called Mek, to experience their unknown culture and also learn their living style.

Of course, it wasn't easy to get to know them since you know nothing about this tribe, and they sure do build a big wall to protect themselves from people outside of their tribe. Therefore, Mark and Olly have to do everything they requested to prove that they are friendly, would love to get to know them, and want to be accepted to be part of this tribe.

We are all experiencing economic crisis together on earth, because of the stupidness of human beings. Some of you might not suffer from it, instead your business is getting fucking good. Then, maybe you can think of treating people a little bit nicer. I meant at least treat your employees a little bit better should not even harm any piece of you.

We sure understand that every boss wanna minimize their cost in the office by using minimum employees. But hell, now almost every employee is doing 2~3 people's workload. They keep their mouth shut and try to work harder just to keep their job without being laid off, whatever they are doing is just to have this salary to raise their family. Thus, why don't you give them a break, and try not to push or squeeze them that much? There is very high possibility that they can work much more if you just treat them a little bit better; they even will appreciate you to give them the opportunity!

Kelly Clarkson's song, Breakaway, is one of my favorite song. This song gave me so much feeling that I cannot describe, and whenever I heard this song, my eyes will all be covered by tears.

When the song released, I was studying in USA. It is a strange place that you can find people who want to know you, and at the same time, you can find people who don't even think you exist in this world. Thus, it's so much easy for me to feel that I will never be able to belong to there because of who I am.

It's been a long time I didn't stand under the rain. I always told myself that it's the last time I soak myself with pouring rain. It's freezing, but I never did what I told myself. That night, I did it again. I stood in the middle of the alley, faced up, and tried to figure how long I could look into the rain without blinking my eyes. But I never did it for too long, because my eyes are afraid of water, even I am having my glasses on.

Sometimes, I like to imagine myself standing under the rain, facing up with my open-arms as if I am hugging every drop. And then I will turn round and round slowly as if I am a carousel, but in a very slow motion. I would dance slow with the music, Glittering Blackness, and what the most in the picture is a black hair dog standing right next to me, and she also face up to the sky.

People say women are made by water, and it also means they cry a lot, so you gotta protect them. However, men mostly hate to see women cry!

My ex hate to see me cry, especially when I cried or mad, I don't talk. I guess it's quite normal for Asian to stay silence, and me, I was a very particlur case because I was totally that type person! And the worest is that my ex is a foreigner who prefers to talk. Of course, culture differences casued a lot of fights in this relationship, and what I learned from this relationship is that my English was improved via fighting. Ha...he hated me a lot when I don't talk, and God knows that I don't really talk a lot when I can speak my mother language, so he shouldn't expect me to talk more when it comes to English! Therefore, when we fought, I just blocked myself and he would be so pissed off, or when I cried, he hated me more by not telling why! We had this period that both of us couldn't understand what the others' want, and then by a teacher's assisted/consulted, we started to know what we should do when it comes to this kinda situation. It's all because he didn't Asian way, and I don't want to fit in his foreign way! However, one thing he would never learn before we broke up is how to comfort your girlfriend when she cries!

When talking about tears, I was an expert because I cried a lot. However, I was also an expert to hold my tears. My personal record to hold my tears is 2 months. It is funny that when people are abroad alone, tears will come much by something small.

One time when I was in China, I cried for something funny.

Perhaps, I am just a weirdo to think in that way, but it can be true tho!

Few years ago, I had a shabu shabu as dinner with my teammates at work. One of them brought her fiance who we heard of his name for a long long time but never really seen him in person, at least not his whole face because whenever he came to pick up my coworker at work, he always wears his big ass helmet which covers most of his face.

It's been a long time I did not do something new, maybe it's since I left USA. I meant did something that I never thought of doing it for some/no purpose. A lot of time, I just do what I should do, it's more like a routine. Wake up, brush my teeth, read newspaper, eat breakfast, (go to work), eat lunch, (take a nap maybe), have a cup of tea, eat dinner, watch movies, read some book, chat online, write my blog, and then go to sleep. Nothing special, nothing particulary.

Thus, the most breakthrough recently was that I went to temple to pray for a red line. And I shared this thing with me best friend, G, who is a totally European knows nothing about Taiwanese culture (probably a little bit about Japanese because of porns...oops, sorry.)

There was a news couple days ago talking about a parents are prepare to sue a doctor, due to over 10 times exams, the doctor didn't find out their daughter only has half of right arm. And they did doubt about how come they never saw baby's right arm when they saw ultrasoni picture, the doctor always told them everything would be fine and nothing to worry about. However, after the baby was born, the baby girl does miss half of her right arm. And the excuss that doctor gave this parents is that "ultrasoni cannot prove everything".

Well, here, I don't want to judge anything about this case, but I do think that the doctor should be more careful, because being a doctor is about saving lives.

A friend of mine sent me a mail today about tiny frogs. It is a stroy to courage people to do their best under this kinda economy!

So, here is the story:

I heard that Valentine's day is coming! Do you have any plan?

Well, two years ago, I worked in my first job. There were over 100 women working in that company and in our floor, we had around 70 women. It was a garment company so there is kinda normal that most of your coworkers are female. In garment/textile industry in Taiwan, it's sort of a curse that most of females employees have less chances to get involved in any relationship if you do not have boyfriend before you work in this company. Therefore, there is a saying that if you want to get a boyfriend and get married as eariler as possible, make sure that you get a good boyfriend first before you work there, or you don't even try to get into that kinda company!

I have my own bed since I was a kid. My first bed was in my parents' room, right next to the wall. Above the wall, there was big window so when I couldn't sleep, I could peek outside. But sometimes, I would be afriad that some ghost hide behind my curtains, so that window became my scary window. My bed was of course a single bed, but didn't really fill with dolls. As I recalled, the only thing could sleep with me on that bed was my mom.

Until my 5th grad in elementary school, we moved to a bigger apartment, so I have my own room. Not surprise, it is a single bed and right next to a wall. And there is also a big window above the wall, but the other side of the window is our living room. One day, I was planning to move my bed to change the decoration in my room. Due to the room isn't big, I only could move my bed to the other side without closing to the wall. I remembered I was crying for help after one night, just because I feel very insecure to sleep without wall. Thus, I moved my bed back to where it was, and never planned to redecorate my room any more.

  
(Home made chicken breast)