He is the second person who suicided in my life. He is my cousin and he suicided for some reason we don't know. He didn't end up his life immediately, instead he choose to die slowly so that maybe he got chance to see everybody.

Years ago, I went to this private school to study English grammar with my aunt. There was this girl who is about 30 years old. She always wears beautiful makeup and always dress nicely. You couldn't know if she is well-mannered until you got to spend some time with her. But one thing that she had is that she wants everything to be perfect so she put loads of stress on herself. Stress from her rich family, stress from work, and stress from no where. Therefore, sometimes, you would see her talk to herself because she's unsatisfied with something she did. After getting alone with her for about an year, one day, someone told me that she would never come to school again because she suicided.

That night, out of surprise, she cleaned her room. Her mom asked her why she did that because her room was always in a mess. She said, "coz I am afraid that no one will clean it up afterward." After couple hours later, someone knocked one their door and told the family that their little daughter jumped out of the floor. She didn't wear any makeup, and she didn't dress any nice clothes that night................

The last class we had together, all of us felt something wrong about her but non of us did anything. Nobody went to talk to her at all. Maybe, maybe if anyone of us went to talk to her, she would still be here.....


Thus, maybe, maybe there was someone talking to my cousin before. He would be able to attend our family reunion again......we all wished there would be miracle but there wasn't and he is officially gone phyically. But for sure, I will never ever forget him.


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