I always remember this sentence, the older you are, the more you think. Over 25 years old, the reality hits me harder and harder and I've been forced to think as much as I could before I make any decision. Every step seems always so hard to step out because you have to think over all the consequences and take all the responsibilities when it comes to the end. Therefore, you'd be very careful to make any move. It's good for me but somehow, there is possibilty that I've lost my chance already.

When the time that lady told me that sentence, I did not really understand what she meant. But now, I understand very well because the older you are, the more burden/responsibility you need to take. It's not something you could choose because it is your life and you are the only one who got to decide how to live.

What the hell.....If it's couple years ago, I would say, what the hell, but I am not that young any more. I couldn't dream about things that are not close to reality at all. I become to have responsibility to myself and to my family. Cannot be considered as "naive" at all!!

People says, people like me with Cancer as my start couldn't leave family just like that, because all we concern is family. I know because all the time, family is something that is super important to me, especially my parents. And when I got older, I feel this feeling haunts more and more. Seems that leaving family will surely kill me in some ways. But some little voice deep in my mind also tells me that I shouldn't be like this. After all, I am old enough to have my own life and sometimes, I should think of myself as well. Honestly, I didn't learn how to be selfish at all yet but after all these years working, it seems that selfish sometimes is a key to survive at work. Of course, work and family cannot be competed but somehow, it's connetced in certain way.

I meant I really hate life is this complicated. Can it be simpler for us to figure out what the next step is? However, to look on the other side, who makes it complicated? My answer is PEOPLE. People make it complicated because we always give this world too much pressure and we always want our lives to be better and better. This world has become a complicated world so people must be evolved to more complicated creature to survive. It's nobody's fault but somehow, there are more and more people looking after simple life.

Nature is hitting back these years. Maybe it's time for human starting to think of what's simple life. And it's time for me to make decision, to step out, and to be stronger. Release my mind first then.....release it!!


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