It's the second day of 2010 and I learned something interesting about me.
I learned myself like to run away from things I dislike. Well, okay, maybe many people do so because that's the thing they dislike but what I meant is sometimes, I thought everything is cool and I've got over it. But it's not always true.
Okay, I admit that I digged the hole by myself but hell yeah, I didn't crawl into that damn hole tho, instead, I ran hell away from it. It's really a dumb thing to do when you thought "nah, it's not gonna happen" but damn, it will just ruin your night. Fine, I tell you the truth, I clicked on the damn button to see my friend's friend's friend list on FB. And yes, I fucking found my ex on that fucking list and my brain was not fuctioning well enough to stop myself from clicking that "come check me" button. So, here I was, a photo came right straight into my head.....and another section says "married to xxx" so I fucking click that "xxx" to see that woman's face again. Fortunately, I didn't have chance to go any further to see if they have any kid or not since they've married for ... almost one year. For the moment, it was fun to check out those profile....michigan state? what the hell...fucking liar. And then after couple mins, weird feeling came into my mind. It's not their "marriage" annoys me, I am sure, and it's not anything that annoys me...but I felt sad somehow. Probably feel sad for myself because I am stil running after my dream which I am not quite sure what it is yet.
What's more funny is that after 20 mins, non of them bother me any more. I feel like I don't give it a shit because I have made a decision in the end of 2009. I told myself that I have to make each day count, and to live each day well, not for anyone else...only for ME!