Something Existing

I don't know how it calls in English...rebellion period?? It's just a period of time, you will find kid is out of parents' control. As per my parents' saying, I did not really have this happened before. And for me, I don't really know what it felt like.

These days, I found myself in a not good temper. I got pissed off in a easy way, and I do not like to explain "why", especially to my family. Is it a rebellion period?? I don't really know, but I am sure that now a lot of things can irritate me easily. Thus, get the hell away from me if you don't want me to hell at you!.....bad temper ING!!

I used to love this song "breakaway" by Kellyclarkson when I was in USA. I felt like I was all alone in USA, and I had tried to make something different for myself, because I made a wish, took a chance, amd made a change to go all the way to USA.

"Did you watch TV last night around 4:30am?" I asked my mom.

Everybody needs some friends, doesn't need a lot, but does need somebody be with you whenever you need. There are so many things happening in our life which you are able to share the moment with somebody you think is suitable for you. What I meant is that something you can share with some friend, but other things you feel like you can only share with others.

For instance, I have this friend in my new work, we share a lot of things together at work because that's what we got in common, and no one else understand work things better than us. We complain, bitch, cheer up, support, and help each other as much as we could. Thus, I only have feeling to talk about work with this friend. And I am so glad that I have someone to fight with me, to stand in the same position, and give me a hand when she feels I need.

I had a dream last night, and I really wonder if it will come true or it is just a dream!

Well, yeah, this dream has pretty big influence on me. Mostly, it's because I wish it's not going to be true. If it become true, I guess it will really make me feel pain a lot!

To be an OL (Office Lady), you have to dress like an OL. And a lot of people do dress like this, most of the time, it's because of company policy, or it's just that lady's habbit!

What have been supporting me is gone today! I did not really have as big emtional reaction as last time, but it was just temporary. The time, I was occupied with loads of works, and then finally I broke down in the last min after I hanged in there for 15 hours.

I collapsd at the min after somebody came to ask "what happened to you?" I finally spoke out for what have happened to me for the last two weeks, and how much I have done for nothing. I worked over hours, I cut my hands, arms several times, I was threaten, and all of these things finally beated me down after I realized again that the support I thought I had all time is NEVER there for me.

I want to scream!!

I work overloaded and I want to scream. The most of the reason make me break down is because of boss' slowness in making decision. I have done a lot of works every single day, but she has to make me do things in the very last min. For example, she is leaving to Dubi for exhibition this Sat., but she asked me to arrange ALL the documents she needs at 8pm. How the hell I have chance to arrange everything?? And what the hell is she thinking?

Have you ever wanted to suicide? I had. When we heard the news about some people killed themselves because of certain reason, we might feel it's not a right attitude to settle thing, or we don't think their reason isn't worth enough for them to do so.

Maybe I am wrong, but maybe I am right about it.

What kinda lips do you have? In American culture or the western culture, they think women who have thick lips are kinda sexy.

In Taiwan, we have this kinda of saying that people who have thicker lips tend to be more emtional, and who have thinner lips tend to be more rational. In other words, people who are more emtional are sensitive and thoughtful, but people who are more rational prefer to put themselves in the first place.

I thought maybe some of my friends would like to know how's my new work, so here I am.

Today is the third day I work in the new company, and so far so good because everybody is extremely friendly. I don't see anybody is being rude, like who I met in China, so it made me a little bit weird when I worked there in the first, because I never heard "thanks" or "I am sorry" when I was in China.

The Verve: Rather Be

Today is a funny day which I don't know what's really going on in there. Maybe it's a moon day, but for sure, the moon is not rounded in the very beginning of each month. Then, maybe I am just being too emotional.

It's been a month I have been back to Taiwan from China. Before I left China, I was in the stage of "cannot wait" any longer, and I anticipated how great shape I would be as long as I am in Taiwan. The moment I flew on the top of Taiwan, I cannot help myself to look outside of the window because I have never looked Taiwan from the top in the night time, and Taiwan is extremely beautiful than any country I have ever been. Lights made Taiwan look so beautiful and unforgettable which reminded me again that I will be just great as long as I am in Taiwan.

Before 1995, teachers were the most repected, and they were always persons to be considered to do right things only. Of course, this weird perspective is way worse in my parents' age. Teachers can beat students, even parents authorized the right to teachers to allow them to punish their kids as long as it's necessary. My teacher in 5th and 6th grade in elementary school, was a very famous teacher and his reputation came from his strictness. Seriously, no one in our class was never beated by him, no matter how good your grades were. He had this flexible stick (cane) which is a very strong weapon to hit on your palms (of course, both palms). And he'd his hands as a good weapon to slap you when he couldn't grab his stick in time.