目前日期文章:200906 (10)

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Years ago, that evening, I wanted to talk to a classmate so bad so bad, but I didn't do it in the end. The next day, she jumped out of 9th floor window suicided. The night I heard the news, I regret that I didn't talk to her, because if I did, maybe I could stop her from doing it.

Coupld weeks ago, I attended a wedding. I had this strong feeling that I wanted to take photo with my cousin so bad, so strong. We did take one photo. And then, I heard that she might get breast cancer, and the 2nd time test doesn't look that good.

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I have this special rule to some special person. And that is never say goodbye; you can say "see ya", "later", but cannot say "goodbye" or "bye". The reason is very simple, because we must see each other again, no matter how far we are far apart.

Since I have this rule, for me, saying "goodbye" is a very serious word for me. By saying "bye" is okay, but somehow, saying "goodbye" means that we will never see each other again, or I just meant not to see you again from the moment I tell you "goodbye".

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Years ago, less than in one week, we lost our aunt. She had this cancer, which spreaded very very fast in her body. One thing good is that she didn't suffer much. We were all very sad, because nobody expected this to come, especially in this short time.

After couple months, my grandpa followed my aunt's step. Everything was in a mess for our family, we really do not recognize our sadness at all because there were too many things need to be done at the same time. You only saw everybody was so tired, and speechless.

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I do not have many friends, and when I try to find somebody to hang out with, the choice is very limited. And the result is usually......stay at home!

Don't know why, but most of people I know are from rich family. And somehow, I am just not into them and they are not into me at all. Thus, it's not surprise that I do not have many friends. And what more funny is that my truely good friends are usually out of Taiwan. One Australian in China, one in France, one in HongKong, one in Thailand, other okay friends are in Nothern America, Georgia, France......and around 3 in Taiwan. Wow, I can use only my 10 fingers to count my friends....

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Could I get you off my mind, this time?

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A lot of my friends think that I am a weak person, because I got sick easily....ATTENTION, it's ONLY because I got cold easily. It is NOT because I got a weak mind.

Frequently, I visite doctor, becuase my nose allergy is getting more serious. Doctor always tell me that I gotta stay away from dust, or hairy stuffs, blah blah blah....but the truth is that it's just my body cannot fit Taiwan's weather. I meant I got no allergy when I was in Canada or China. It was totally cool, besides, I was staying with a "real dog" for 5 days in Canada. I even slept with that dog without having any problem at all tho. Therefore, it must be because the weather in Taiwan.

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Everything has postive and negative parts, it all depends on how you take it.

I had a dark side with me for a while, this dark side was a secret that I don't like to mention. For nearly an year, I thought I've learned how to hold my tears, but the truth is I put myself in a darker place, wait till one day my emotion explored. And it did explore for couple times.

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In this very month, June, I usually have to pray, pary that everything will be fine. You can say that I am superstitious, but for me, I cannot really ignore the things happened before.

Okay, I don't really remember what bad happened before, but I always have this bad feeling when it comes to June. It's also funny that my birthday is in June, and I particularly don't like the day of my birthday, because bad thing did happen couple times that day before.

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Strangely, I spent some time seeing wedding dress on TV show, and somehow, I did try to figure out what kinda I wanna wear. To see the special wedding photo albums from some couples I have known, I learned it seems to be something every couple shall do in Taiwan's culture. And I know how much effort you need to put when you take those photos, because my two older brothers all got married, and it all took them days to find a proper wedding shop, go shoot the photos, select photos, blah blah blah...a lot of works to do. And sure, they all cost not small money.

Except photos, there are a lot of customs needed to be followed. And every area, or even every family does have some different customs to believe in. Normally, groom needs to prepare an amount of money for bride's family, so that they could purchase some "cookies/cakes" to send to their relatives for announcing that their daughter is getting married. And a lot, a lot, a lot of details need to be done.....

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Every time I take testing online about how old are you really, the result is always way older than what my real age is. It's in the range between 32-36. Usually, friends around my age laugh at me, and friends older than me for few years think it's a good thing to be mature. For me, I don't deny that I don't really act like my real age, and that also part of the reason that most of my close friends are older than me, except one (but he is a foreiger...look much older than me tho...hahaha).

Thus, deep in my mind, I really think that I shall look older than my age. I meant at least, I should look like a kido, becasue hell, I don't act like one. However, I seem to be wrong!

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