目前日期文章:200905 (9)

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My cousin will be engaged next week. She is actually struggling about making this marriage to happen for a while. I don't really know what's her concerns, but I know there are concerns, because after all, marriage for a woman is a huge thing, she gives her life to a man, and another family. Her life will be totally changed from that moment.

Thus, how do you know if you are ready for all of this? I cannot imagine how a woman can be so ready to marry a guy when it comes to reality.

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I am not sad.....as I know.

I know when I am really sad, I will feel like hugging somebody, and somebody mostly is my pillow. And although my pillow will never hug me back, my blanket is always there to provide some help by convering me.

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For the past two years, I hate a lot of things, because I knew too many things that others shouldn't know. And I also saw many ugly sides of human beings. Thus, most of time, I felt so frustrated and tired from a lot of things around me. It's not me who was being too judgmental; it's things are getting out of rage. Thus, I promised myself that I had to get away from it, or I will kill myself soon.

Me and my friend once talked about "we don't understand why there are people doing things like that". We kept asking "why" and "how", and in the end, we came out a very good explaination, which is "we shouldn't use our own standard to judge others". It's actually a very good explaination, because when we are not able to change others, we'd better change ourself to get used to this society.

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I have two plus one nephews (the plus one is now presently in his mom's belly), and one niece. Their mothers, and my mom are very good at buying clothes for them. Oftenly, they found some clothes they never wore in the closet, and it's too small to wear, so they pass them to the younger one. But there are still chances to find no younger kid to pass.

It's my second week at new work, but it seems that I have worked there for one month, because I started to work over hour in the very first day! However, the funny thing is that I don't really complain about it. Most of the days, I am the last one arrive home. And today, there is no exception. I found my mom packed clothes into a suitcase, so I joked with her if she is planning on escaping, even I know she was packing my nephews' and nieces' clothes. And the later, when I came back to my mom, she said to me....

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我知道你回來了 我留了言 看了你在線上 但是你就是不說話
你沒說 但是有些事 我知道

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Not really feel nervous or excited about Monday, but it should be a big day for me, because I am gonna start to work. It's gonna be an easy job for me, but I am sure that I will learn a lot more from this position. I don't have any special feeling right now, but I know I will be nervous tomorrow night, like a student who will start the school next day feels nervous about what's coming.

Time goes by very fast, especially all the sudden I realized that I am touching 30 in few years. Somehow, I feel time is pushing me to speed up my path to grow up, to grow up to face the next stage of my life. I remember when I tured 20, I was super happy, because it's time to be whoever I want to be, and then I don't think I really grow up, I perhaps just noticed that I turned 20, but hell, I am turning 30 in few years. Thus, I have to make myself look what I have done, and learn to know what I should do next.

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"If I knew you are going there for him, I will help you pick up something more to bring over." She said. Do you hear that? That's what she said, and that's exactly what she told me yesterday.

You have been worrying about if they will like you or not. It's exactly the same way I worry about when the very first time, I met you and your family. What if they don't like me being a foreigner, what if they don't like me because I say anything stupid, or what if you just hate the way I am. And you know what else she said? " No wonder you were looking for shirt before you left" I didn't even remember that I was trying to pick up some clothes for you, but she remembered it.

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I guess I am kinda weak lately, because a lot of things can win my tears. I am not sure if it's me who really can be that sensitive about things around me, or I just think too much. I could cry because of a scenerio in the TV, a sentence in the book I read, or lyrics of one song. It seems that I can just so easy to put myself in others' shoes.

And look at the lyric of this song, Lips of an angel, I thought it was about a guy talking about his gf's lips in the beginning before I listened to this song carefully. It reminds me about the feeling I had when I saw your name showed on my cell phone, and how excited I was to hear your voice again. Like the lyric says, it's really good to hear your voice saying my name, it sounds so sweet. And "hearing those words it makes me weak".

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(from: http://www.pestaola.gr/images/the_break_up_movie.jpg)

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