Something Existing

Since I finished my trip back to Taiwan, I started to look for job and after couple months of searching, I finally found a way to meet an agency who is willing to have a short interview with me to see if she could find me a proper position. Our meeting will be on Jan. 8, next week.

To be honest, I have no big confidence on myself to find a job I want here. It's not easy in many different ways, such as language and experience. It's Montreal so you need to speak French. As for experience, who would want to hire a not-enough-experience coming from outside of Canada? I understand all the prospectives and all the difficulties but I still have to try. The girl of the agency told me on the phone that their clients wish to have someone have experience within Canada. I understand but I need some chances. I explained to her my situation and it's actually a good start that she is willing to hear me out in person about my experience.

It's been 8 months I live here and graduatelly, I realized more and more things here. And most of them, I do not understand why they would choose to do this.

Most of people here choose NOT to get married but they live together, rent the place together, or even they but a house together. And yes, they do not get married, no wedding, no shit but yes, they have kids together, of course. It's a little bit hard to imagine the reason why they do it like this. To avoid the heavy responsibility? To try to live together to see if it's fit? To not give it a shit about the "paper" that tight them together? Or, it's just a fashion here?

Last night, I had this weird dream. I saw an airplane crashed in front of me, the airplane lost her power and she was trying so hard to land on the ground but she didn't make it. And when she finally hitted the ground, everything explored. I used my body to cover a kid from getting hurt. It didn't casue a lot of fire but the plane was crashed on the grass, instead of into the buildings. I even went to take a look at the airplane and good thing is I didn't see anybody, but just a crashed plane with those seats exposed. It was crashed into two pieces and you don't really see the head of the airplane at all. It's gone!

I don't understand why I have a dream like this because I don't remember I saw any movie about airplane lately. But I remember that I was trying everything to protect the kid I do not know and even find the kid way back home. And when I woke up from the dream, I felt myself was still feeling it, as if the dream was real and it took me another 5 mins to realize that it's only a dream and then finally, got rid of that weird feelings.

To care about your family, you are not only care about their feeling, healthy, everything but also you should share and enjoy things together. Sharing, for me, in Taiwan's culture is very important. Sometimes, you go out and find some good food, you would buy some and bring them home to share with your family because you want them to feel the "happiness" as you enjoyed the food. You sometimes buy gifts because those gifts make you think about them and that's maybe the way you show them your careness. Of course, these gifts don't have to cost a lot but the point is, it shows that you miss them and you care about them.

For example:

  
Remember that day I arrived Montreal, it was winter and of course, snowing. Freezing like the city is in silence but yet, on the street, there were still many people finishing partying and trying to get on the night bus to go home. That day, I was standing on the street, feeling cold, breathing cold, and not sure what's gonna happen after. We steped into the bus, nothing I could really see through the windows because it's too cold outside, and there was heater inside. Everyone on that bus was wearing heavy boots, melting water was everywhere and the color was black. You could even see the snow on the boots and get ready to be melted by the heater. I was curious to see everyone's face but at the same time, I was afraid that it would be offensive to do so. I did not know where I was and was wondering how people know which one is their stop because there's no sign in the bus to tell you the name of the stop and it was so dark outside to tell.

They called this culture difference......

Have you ever said to your parents that you love them?? Me, I don't think I did it before so people asked me why....Well, I don't know why but I would feel bizard if I say that to my parents tho. Yes, most of Asians do not do that and why, maybe because they are shy, maybe because they never did that before!!

Since I was a kid, I have my own table to put my own stuffs and do my own things. And until we moved to another apartment, I started have my own room and everything, so I didn't really know the feeling when you have no your own place. Like my cousin, she lives with her parents, her brother, and also her grand-parents in a not-very-big appartment and she always admire me because I have my own room. I didn't really know her feeling but finally I started to understand.

After my brother got married, because the parents of my sister-in-law would help to take care of their kid, so my brother moved to live in with them. A lot of time, he told me that he doesn't expect too much that time but he just wanna have his own table so that he could put his own stuffs there and do his own things. Again, I didn't understand his feeling well and after he got his own apartment, I still didn't "really" understand why he has this happy face. His happiness seems more than that. But now, I understand why.....

Last week, I had one week vacation without French classes. It was supposed to be a wonderful since I finally got to rest for one week after non-stop classes for 5 months, but hell, I have this "gout" problem come after me. I thought it wouldn't be that serious but thing didn't go the way I wanted it to be tho. Therefore, I couldn't walk properly for two weeks now.

I have to tell you that it was hurting like hell for more than a week and my feet is like a big bread. When it comes to the night, it's the worst because the blood goes slower when you do not move, so it hurts much more than you could imagine. Therefore, I didn't sleep well for about 5 days. The night before, I woke up almost every hour and it's seriously torture me a lot.

2010 was a very interesting year for me because I experienced the worst thing and the best thing. Well, skip the worst thing because it really worths nothing to mention it again. Besides, I'd bitched about it for so many times already and I am fucking sure that you wouldn't wanna hear it anyways. Thus, lets take about the culture shock part 2.

Lets say it can be categorized in the "good thing of 2010". Well, maybe it's not really the culture difference but from the way I look at it, it's maybe workable.

Well, I usually have this problem when it comes to speak out. Sometimes, I am like my mom who really hate to cause any trouble to others so we always try to do everything on our own, even sometimes, we atually need some help from others. So, here is the most recent example I could give you now......seriously, I was fucking stupid!!

Couple days ago, I went out to explore some groceries which might be on sales. In here, they usually ask you if you really need bags for those you buy, and somehow, I fucking freaked out in front of the cashier when the woman asked me in French. Well, here is the deal, they don't charge you for the bag like Taiwan does. But hell, at that moment, "charge" came into my mind and I really thought that woman was gonna charge me for the god damn bag so I said, "non, merci" as if I was refusing her help. And ha, there were even TWO all-grown-up men unpacking my stuffs and walked away with some disappointments. And guess what, I got a pack of crabs, a box of on-sales eggs, and the god damn on-sales 24 rolls of toilet paper. Of course, I need one fucking bag for the crabs and eggs I just fucking refused. Gee...what the fuck is going on with me?!